Queen:
AND BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN
SO GOOD TO POOR OLD GRANNY,
I'LL SHARE A SECRET WITH YOU.
THIS IS NO ORDINARY APPLE.
IT'S A MAGIC WISHING APPLE.
Snow White:
A WISHING APPLE ?
Queen:
YES ! ONE BITE AND ALL
YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE.
Snow White:
REALLY ?
Queen:
YES, GIRLIE !
NOW, MAKE A WISH AND TAKE A BITE. THERE MUST BE SOMETHING
YOUR LITTLE HEART DESIRES. PERHAPS THERE'S SOMEONE YOU LOVE.
Snow White:
WELL, THERE IS SOMEONE.
Queen:
I THOUGHT SO. I THOUGHT SO.
OLD GRANNY KNOWS
A YOUNG GIRL'S HEART.
NOW, TAKE THE APPLE,
DEARIE, AND MAKE A WISH.
Snow White:
I WISH--
I WISH--
Queen:
THAT'S IT. GO ON. GO ON.
Snow White:
...AND THAT HE WILL CARRY
ME AWAY TO HIS CASTLE...
WHERE WE WILL LIVE
HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Queen:
FINE ! FINE !
NOW, TAKE A BITE.
DON'T LET THE WISH GROW COLD !
Snow White:
OH ! I FEEL STRANGE.
Queen:
HER BREATH WILL STILL.
Snow White:
OH.
Queen:
HER BLOOD CONGEAL.
Snow White:
OH.
[ Gasping ]
[ Cackling ]
[ Thunderclap ]
Queen:
NOW I'LL BE FAIREST
IN THE LAND !
[ Cackling ] - script from Snow White 
Watching a child makes me wonder if I was that curious, vulnerable, and 'cute' when I was a child. Looking at my photos, I think I was cute. Tracing back to my childhood memories, yes, I was as curious and vulnerable. I have forgotten much of how I was as a young girl and it is difficult to regain that lends of child again. Yet memories of the past are still so clear and vivid.
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| Piano Concert, oil on paper, 2006 |
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| Detail of Childhood Sonata, oil on paper, 2006 |
Here is an excerpt from my thesis on my childhood recollection and its relationship to my work process:
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| Grandmother's Garden, oil on canvas, 2006 |
My recollection of my grandmother’s garden is a re-created fantasy far from the reality which my grandmother or mother remembers. Yet this symbolic image of the garden is where I have relived my childhood again and again for the sake of recovering the remorse I felt at that time . . .When pears and grapes in the garden seasonally ripened, I climbed along the grape vines to grab a bite – so sweet and moist. During the summer, the garden swelled with nameless flowers that uplifted my curiosity to play with them. I would brush off the black seeds from cockscombs to make a meal on a morning glory leaf; I would pretend to be a grown woman, wearing the daisy chain rings and a necklace. My grandmother’s garden was where my imagination, fantasy and idealism about the world existed. Witnessing the garden disappear in front of my eyes as a four-year-old girl, without any explanation, was more tragic than any adults might have presumed, similar experiences continued in my later childhood events.[1]
The major impetus of my art making is to reconcile what has been lost or distorted in childhood. My remembrance of childhood and the comfort of the garden may be a distorted fantasy. It, in fact, may be from a desire to rewrite a perfect story that I had hoped for. I draw a direct correlation from my own art making to the character in the film Atonement, Briony Tallis, and her memoir. Atonement beautifully depicts how Briony Tallis, as a thirteen-year-old girl, perceives the world around her, especially regarding her secrete crush and her sexuality. The specific notion of the ‘lens of a child’ and the unchangeable consequences from Briony’s instinctive actions was eye opening for my own interpretation of childhood and the effects of dramatic events.[2] At the end of the film, Briony is an aged author who writes a memoir that retells the traumatic story of her older sister Cecilia and her lover into the one which they all hoped for. This journey of untangling the distorted memories and relationships takes a toll on Briony until her old age, yet it reveals how one can go through childhood with guilt, remorse, or some sort of re-created fantasy. As my work has evolved, this constant reference to my childhood led to research about its relationship with behavioral development and patterns that reflect my aesthetic process in the obsessive collecting and cutting of flowers.
Below is a dialogue I've been having with Angela (Education Department Director at the Hudgens Center for the Arts), regarding my installation She Prays Happiness. There have been a few incidents, causing some damages to the installation.
Gyun:
Hi there! Hope you are doing well in this new year.A few things...One, I wanted to let you know that the piece has suffered from another child 'jumping the rope' and stepping in it. I came in this morning to discover it. It must have happened yesterday afternoon. I fixed it up a bit so that at least there is no bare floor showing, but I did not have very much time to devote to it today. I was wondering if you could possibly come in and do some repair work?
Gyun:It is mostly children and we specifically tell the parents to keep a close eye on them and maybe even hold their hand b/c of what has happened before. Last time it happened, the mom came to us and very apologetically told us what had happened. The little girl who did it was crying. This time, we just found it when closing down for the day. : (
Dear Angela,
Isn't it so interesting that so much of my work comes from childhood memories, and it's mainly children who end up disturbing the piece? I feel bad it it's quite traumatic for children to experience this... for them to feel so bad about what they did. I understand it was out of curiosity and they shouldn't be blamed for what they did.
It is so interesting how it's mainly the children who end up damaging this fragile work. While I talk about the childhood memories and vulnerability and fragility of that fantasy, children come and interrupt that notion of mine. There is no blame to anyone. I once also had that much of curiosity and made unavoidable mistakes.
- G.
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| Study No. 7 (it's your birthday!), acrylics on a magazine paper, 2010 |
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